Maybe.....Just Maybe....

The world is full of problems. No matter how hard we try, our lives will never be perfect. However, we can try to simplify our lives. I believe this can by done by simplifying our minds. If you're stuck on a problem, or in a troubling situation, start to think as a child does. Don't over rationalize. Don't over-complicate. Just take things step by step, visualize the situation, and address it as it is. Naivete is bliss.

If only everyone could start to address things as they are. There would be no need for extravagant cover ups, complicated explanations, or burned bridges. As a result, there would be no ignorant confusion, major misunderstandings, or extreme conflict. Deal with situations as the present themselves. This is this. That is that. Naivete is Bliss.

If only we could stick to our fundamental principles. Don't take what isn't yours. Put things back where you found them. Say you're sorry. If only we could follow these basic rules in all aspects of society, not just with our children, maybe we could finally find some peace around here. Maybe we could even find a chance once and a while to just take a nap.

In a child-like state of mind, everything is treasure. We could simplify our situations, take proper advantage of all opportunities, and even find a chance for some innocent love and friendship. If we were to address our social and professional lives now with what we learned, followed, and loved as children, perhaps, just perhaps, the world could have a few less problems.

Perhaps, because Naivete is Bliss.

I Believe It is a Right

Q&A With Dr. Banez

As the Program Director of the Pediatric Pain Rehabilitation Program in Cleveland Clinic Children's Hospital, Dr. Gerard A. Banez works with children each and every day. He watches them heal, helping them (and their parents) learn to deal with the pain and how to improve. I've recently interviewed him to get a better look at what he does and how he does it.

Dr. Banez, where exactly do you work?

Cleveland Clinic Children's Hospital

What is the average age range of the patients you see daily?

With our pain rehab program, which is what i do most of my time, i typically see kids who are in the junior high to high school age range. I do, however, continue to see some outputs, mostly kids with physical problems or psychological problems. These patients have an age range of 3 up to 21.

What is the protocol that you go through on an average work day?

Each day is different, but most days consist of some combination of clinical work (assessing and treating kids and families), teaching (I teach a lot of psychology, pediatrics, and pain management trainees), research (mostly on kids and pain), and administrative duties.

When working with your patients, what is the first thing you do?

The first things I do are (1) try to understand what the child''s primary problems are, (2) identify possible causes/reasons (biological, psychological, social) for these problems, and (3) determine what kind of help the child and his/her parents are looking for.

With kids, to be successful at these things, I think that establishing trust and support is key. Being respectful, sensitive, and taking the time to listen is huge.

These things are also very important when working with parents. With parents, I try to convey that they are the "experts" of their children and that my role is to use my experience to collaborate with them.

I see that you work in a Pain Rehabilitation Program. What is a younger patient's reaction to pain as compared to an older patient's reaction?

A young child's reaction to pain is more simple and basic than an older child's For young kids, pain hurts. They don't like it and will do anything they can to avoid it. Young kids are often dependent on their parents to make pain go away. They don't think about how they can help themselves.

For an older child, the reaction and possible outcomes are a lot more involved. For example, if an older girl hurts herself playing soccer, she may start thinking and feeling all kinds of things about the pain and its consequences - "Is it serious?" "What if I can't play soccer again...soccer is my life!" "All my friends play soccer, what will happen if I can't play with them anymore?" and so on.

The increased complexity can make dealing with pain more challenging because the more that kids think and worry about their pain, the worse it feels and the harder it is for them to deal with.

Jean Piaget: the Renowned Psychologist

I believe that if adults, or any person for that matter, were to simplify his or her mind to a child-like point of view, any challenging or troubling situation could be solved with little or no issues. And I'm not the only one with this proposal.

Jean Piaget is one of the foremost psychological experts in recent history. He is known most for his intricate studies with children and finding that children are not illogical and unknowing, but are simply developing and learning in ways that adults should respect.

Time magazine reports that "for 50 years, Piaget, now 73, has been discovering through deceptively simple experiments that children actually have surprisingly intricate thinking skills that adults should learn to appreciate and understand better than they do."

There are some things that allow children to think and learn easier (and quicker) than adults. Piaget, through his experiments, believes that visualization is a major factor. "Quite possibly...adolescents' fascination with their ability to visualize alternatives is what makes them so eager to test new life-styles and Utopian ideals."

There is yet another attribute that children posses the Piaget observed. In the article How a Child Thinks Regarding Moral Issues, Don Alexander mentions that "Piaget believed that heteronymous morality is the first stage of moral development. He said 'Justice and rules are conceived as unchangeable properties of the world.'" Children are born and bred to follow directions, to follow the rules. It is psychologically imprinted on their minds until they learn to rebel. As we grow, that urge to "break the rules" grows also. Yes, a little wandering off the beaten track is not a bad thing, but respect for the rules is something we need to keep.

Child-like fascination can never truly be recreated. As adults, the magic of a discovery every day is lost. However, in a more scientific view, if we learned from that fascination and fueled it into our own learning processes, perhaps our discoveries (personal and universal) will be greater and more frequent.

"Jean Piaget: Mapping the Growing Mind." Time. Dec. 1969. 1-4. Time Inc. 3 Nov. 2009. http://www.time.com/time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,840485-1,00.html

Alexander, Don. "How a Child Thinks Regarding Moral Issues." How a Child Thinks REgarding Moral Issues. 10 Aug. 2007. EzineArticles.com. 3 Nov. 2009.
http://ezinearticles.com/?id=682443

Further Examination of "Accomplishment is its Own Reward"

After posting "Accomplishment is its Own Reward" on January 3rd, I have found further backing and support of the fact that children are encouraged by a simple act of approval.

In the article "How a Child Thinks Regarding Moral Issues"**, Don Alexander explains that children need approval and encouraging movements to push them on to more challenging issues. "Six year old children experience personal feelings of success and achievement through movement," he says. "As for all children, they enjoy positive rewards and congratulations...smiles and thumbs ups encourage them to try even harder at any given task!"

A simple "good job" is all it takes for satisfaction. There need be no money or prizes as rewards. We adults should take simple gratifications to heart, and with those gratifications alone encouraging us to work just as hard (if not harder) on the next job we do.

Keep a simple naivete. Naivete is Bliss.

**Alexander, Don. "How A Child Thinks Regarding Moral Issues." How A Child Thinks Regarding Moral Issues. 10 Aug. 2007. EzineArticles.com. 3 Nov. 2009. http://ezinearticles.com/?id=682443.

Escape to the Woods

We all have a place to where we escape. From the big, comfy chair in the den to the third branch of the tree in the back yard, there is a place that we can go to get away from it all.

In Bill Watterson's beautiful comic Calvin and Hobbes, Calvin never seems to stay in one place for long. However, there is one place he always likes to go - the woods in his back yard. He and his trusty "pet tiger" Hobbes run amidst the trees, crossing creeks, navigating fields, and climbing branches. Calving and Hobbes always find what their looking for, and always find their way back home.

These woods seem to be a metaphor of the escape from society that we yearn. In these woods, we can seek adventure, calmly venture serenity, and even reach great heights. When we each find our own escape, it's like we are reaching our child-like state. It's clear, uncomplicated, and all our own.

Next time, after a horrific day of work or a disastrous traffic jam, think like a child. There need be no books, newspapers, televisions, or computers. Just a nice place where you can imagine a "woods" of your own. Remember, Naivete is Bliss.

Emotional Emergence

The clear, straight-forward, and simplistic thought of a child is a great attribute. More often than not, a little one's mind is unbiased and strong-held, which can be put to use in almost every aspect of society today.

Occasionally, however, when the child-like state of thought emerges, beneficial attributes are not the only ones that appear. Sometimes, in difficult, frustrating, and saddening situations, we can let blind anger burst forth with no reasoning or subduing. Yes, in those situations, a clear mind is very beneficial, but with a clear mind anger and emotion are also unhindered.

In his psychological book I'm O.K. -- You're O.K.**, Thomas A. Harris defines what he calls the P.A.C. This stands for three distinguished elements in each person's make-up: the Parent, the Child, and the Adult. "There are many things that can happen to us today which recreate the situation of childhood...the situation where we are faced with impossible alternatives," he says. "When a person is in the grip of feelings...when his anger dominates his reason, we say his Child is in command."

Harris writes that the Child in all of us mainly represents spontaneous emotion. I believe there is more than just emotion when the Child breaks through. A child is not absent of reason, he just thinks and acts in simple step-by-steps. This state of mind presents clarity and simplicity to a busy lifestyle. However, with this simple-mindedness, emotions and rash decisions must also be hindered and controlled. If this thought is mastered, great accomplishments could be in store.

Naivete is Bliss.

**Harris, Thomas A., M.D. I'm OK -- You're OK: A Practical Guide to Transactional Analysis. New York City, New York. Harper & Row, Publishers. 1969.

Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Robert Fulghum, I believe, makes excellent and intriguing insight in his essay, Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. I also believe that it really makes a point about the simplistic mindset and lifestyle we lived as kids and how we can learn to apply it to our lives now.

"Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies an cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life.
Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup -- they all die. So do we.
And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: look.
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.

Think about what a better world it would be if we all -- the whole world -- had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together."

-Robert Fulghum

From the simple and funny statements (flushing and taking a nap) to the deep and thoughtful statements (hold hands, stick together, and be aware of wonder) and even to the statements that really make you think twice (put things back and clean up your own mess), Fulghum hits all of the problematic points in our life. If we just simplify them down, make use of what we learned in Kindergarten, think of all of the problems that could be easily solved.

Take it how you would like, but Fulghums insightful essay speaks for itself. I suggest reading it more than once and thinking twice about each and every statement. It really has quite an enlightening effect.

All I'm saying is, Naivete is Bliss.

Accomplishment is its Own Reward

Everyone likes a good reward. A job well done associates with a good reward. The mouse gets the cheese at the end of a maze. A dog receives a treat for learning how to "shake". An adult gets paid extra for overtime hours. Sooner or later, are these accomplishments being done only for the sake of the reward?

Now, think of a child. Perhaps, a student in the first grade. When he or she finishes the coloring assignment entirely "inside the lines," he or she will most likely walk up to the teacher to show off the artwork proudly. "Wow!" the teacher says, "You did a really good job on that picture!" The child takes the approval to the heart, and will most likely color another picture just as well, if not better, just for the sake of finishing another "really good job."

Arnold Gesell talks of this in his book The Child from Five to Ten**. Children "like to be instructed, not so much to please their elders as to feel the satisfactions of achievement and social acceptance. They are eager to know how to do things." With this he is saying that a child does things for his own personal benefit. Although approval is understood from their elders, children are not acting for the approval alone. They want to do well and learn.

Maybe we, adults and teenagers alike, could learn something from children. We need to do a job well done for our own benefit, for our own success, not for some outside recognition or reward. A sense of accomplishment should be its own reward. We shouldn't need articles in the paper, or monetary rewards, or even trophies and medals. Do the work for work's sake. Be like a child, and appreciate your own achievement.

**Gesell, Arnold, M.D., Frances L. Ilg, M.D., and Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. The Child from Five to Ten. rev. ed. New York City, New York. Harper & Row, Publishers. 1977.

The Impact of Cancer

Cancer, from those physically affected to those who know and love someone stricken, has an unbelievable impact. Some cases can be easily cured, some cannot. No matter how malignant, however, the effects are physical, emotional, and long lasting.

At St. Jude's Hospital, young cancer patients are treated and worked with every day. I recently read a handbook from this hospital**. In this book, there were inspirational stories from survivors, tear-jerking stories from relatives of those not so lucky, advice from the doctors and therapists working with the children each day, and so on.

Although I have never really had a close encounter with cancer (or one diagnosed with cancer), these stories struck me deep. Those who wrote from the hospital seemed to comfort me, and although I know how serious this ailment is, reading this book made me feel a bit more secure about it, even a little less scared. My heart goes out to those who have had or has been stricken with cancer.

However, another thing stuck out in my mind while reading this book. It stated that "younger children tend to have a better and more rapid adjustment back to normal life than their adolescent counterparts." This makes sense to me. Children's minds are more like rubber; Adults minds are more like cement. If a severe mark is made in cement, it stays there with an everlasting effect. Rubber, however, has more of a tendency to bounce back and recover.

With this metaphor in mind, cancer is like the severe mark, and the mind is the material. For children who are stricken with cancer, a tremendous effort is expired while fighting through the ailment. Once they have recovered, traditional routine is brought back into their lives. They adjust quickly and easily, learning as they go. Adults, on the other hand, are concrete (no pun intended) in their way of life. If a change is made, they are thrown off balance and everything is helter-skelter and may never be the same.

Adults can adjust, however. Think like a child. Take life and its changes with an open mind, and try to "go with the flow." A simple mindset is all it takes. Naivete is bliss.

**Steen, Grant R., Ph.D. and Joseph Mirro, M.D., ed. Childhood Cancer: A Handbook from St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Cambridge, Massachusetts. Perseus Publishing. 2000.

Pure Path to Heaven

"Then the people brought their little children to Jesus so he could put his hands on them and pray for them. His followers told them to stop, but Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me. Don't stop them, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people who are like these children.' After Jesus put his hands on the children, he left there."
Matthew 19: 13-15

Jesus preaches that in order to reach heaven, one must act like a child. He is speaking of innocence, of purity, of unadulterated love. The poisons of greed, lust, and prejudice do not yet pierce the minds of children, as they take effect on the "more experienced" adults.

For some, a statement from the bible may mean nothing. After all, not everyone believes and practices the same faith. However,no matter where it came from, a statement like this has an effect on everyone. The afterlife is a mystery, and many believe that our actions while we are living influence where we will "end up" after we have passed away. What this statement is saying is that the purity of a child is ideal. The innocence of the young is unpolluted by the evils this world can offer. If one can keep his or her mind open and pure, much will be rewarded after his or her life has passed.

The Devotional Bible, New Century Version. Max Lucado, gen. ed. Thomas Nelson, Inc. 1991